Percy Jackson: Merc With a Mouth, Champion of Madness
by VelocityRaptor
Summary: Rewrite of an old story. Accused of insanity and jealousy, Perseus Jackson becomes the one and only Deadpool, hiding his anger and sadness in a mask of insanity and wise-cracking. However, a fateful encounter with the Avengers may cause him to ponder about his life. I forgot to clarify: Age of Ultron never happened. Sorry, guys. Don't like? Don't read.
1. Beginnings

**Percy Jackson: Merc With a Mouth, Champion of Madness**

 **-Instead of Red Hood, Percy is Deadpool (I found one similar fanfiction like this but it wasn't completed.)**

 **-Bucky, Sam, Rhodey, and Scott are also in the team.**

 **-Backstory is different, I guess**

* * *

Deadpool POV

It's an early Christmas time today, and I'm after a naughty kid that's number 1 on my personal naughty list. Okay, he's an adult, but you get the damn point! His face painted goons were aiming their fizzy guns at my position. Oh well. It's time to count some bullet time!

Hi! I'm Deadpool, Merc with a Mouth, destroyer of destroyers, and chimichanga fan! Deep down, I am Perseus Jackson, and if you're wondering why I'm not with my "family", let's just say that "Ohana means family. Family means no one is left behind or forgotten.", NOT!

Why not try and say that to the little cowards who threw me out like Blackjack's piss and poop combined?! "And what's their excuse for throwing you out?", someone may ask me, simple: INSANITY AND JEALOUSY!

First of all, I'm not jealous of anyone! I didn't give a damn whether someone was better than me or not!

And the insanity part, they claimed its something from Tartarus, but the real reason why I lost my damn mind was because of THEM!

What happened next? Banished from Olympus, and then...it happened.

My mother and Paul died. Only my baby half-sister, Alexandria, was spared.

* * *

 _I walked down the streets of New York to see my mortal family (and my baby sister, Alexandria). I hope they understand why I'm visiting them._

 _You see, my dad had a son before the pact, so he was placed in the Lotus Casino. His name was Theseus Burns, and the instant he entered camp, I thought this was great because I've always wanted a half brother besides Tyson, who's in Atlantis._

 _And like my typical luck it ended horribly._

 _When he introduced himself, it was like my existence faded away, so I spent most of my time training with Thalia, Jason, Piper, and Clarisse, who are one of the very few who hate his cocky and arrogant attitude._

 _One day, still training, he challenged me to a duel, and I beat him easily. Suddenly, I was flashed to Olympus, where Poseidon yelled at me, claiming that I was not his son anymore for hurting his "favorite son". Did he not notice that it was just a duel?! I began to lose my sanity when Zeus voted for my banishment. Only Hestia, Hades, Hera, Apollo, Artemis, and Hephaestus voted against it. At least I kept Riptide, because I warned them that I'll lose my mind if it was taken from me, especially since Zoe entrusted it to me._

 _Thankfully, they gave me some time to say goodbye to my remaining few friends, then that's when Annabeth showed up and called me a jealous idiot who should rot in hell. Thalia and Jason couldn't bring themselves to hurl lightning bolts at her because it won't change a thing._

 _I entered the building and knocked on the door._

 _No answer._

 _"Mom? Paul?" I asked as I knocked again._

 _No answer again._

 _I opened the door slowly, and what I saw shocked me for the rest of my life._

 _My mom and Paul were on the floor with bullet holes, bloody bullet holes, on their chests. My mouth hung agape at the sight as I walked over to their dead bodies._

 _"No...no...no." I muttered as tears went down my eyes._

 _I heard crying in the closet. Alexandria...she's alive..._

 _I ran to the closet and opened the door._

 _That's when I saw my baby sister in a bundle in the closet._

 _I picked her up and cradled her._

* * *

 _Cemetery..._

 _At least Mom and Paul got a proper funeral. An old high school friend of my mom's: a son of Hephaestus named Jack Hammer, also known as Weasel, agreed to shelter Alexandria. No one else bothered to show up, other than me, Uncle Jack, Aunt Hestia, and some other high school friends of theirs._

 _I stayed, even if the funeral was over, even if it was raining._

 _At this point, Artemis showed up. She looked at the graves as well._

 _"Your mother was a good woman, Perseus." she said._

 _"I know. But...what if I am getting insane?" I asked her._

 _"Don't say that. You're the only male my hunters and I can tolerate. Where will you go from here on out?"_

 _"I will find their killers, and I will kill them."_

 _And with that, I ran towards Blackjack before Artemis could protest,_ _and he flew me out of her sight. A while later, I felt something hit my back, and I blacked out._

 _When I woke up, I was in some strange warehouse. I wanted to get out, but I couldn't, since I was bound to a chair._

 _"Hi!" a cheery female voice rang throughout the warehouse._

 _I saw someone walked up to me._

 _It was a pale woman with brown hair with streaks of red. She wore a complete black leather outfit, and she also had this smile which I can find from one of those overly positive speakers._

 _"Excuse me but, who are you?" I asked._

 _"Name's Mania! Goddess of insanity and madness, at your service!" she replied with so much positivity and did a salute like she was my lieutenant in the army._

 _"If you're at my service, then why am I bound?" I asked._

 _"Oh, sorry!" she apologized as she got the ropes off of me. I got up and brushed my shoulders, but Mania was still acting giddy because...she's Mania._

 _"Okay, where's Blackjack? And, can I help you?"_

 _"Of course. I have a teeny tiny favor I need you for." she replied._

 _"And what's that supposed to be?"_

 _"First of all, he's fine. And for the second question, as you know, most of the Olympians claim you're completely insane following the events from Tartarus, then, when the girl you loved who I won't be naming because she cheated on you, well, cheated on you in favor of your new half brother from the Lotus Casino, then accused of jealousy, then disownment, banishment, yada yada yada, whatever. Perseus Jackson, will you become my champion?"_

 _I was confused like hell. She was talking so fast I lost track._

 _"Can you...shorten that?" I asked. "You talked so fast it's like those irritating commercials on TV."_

 _"Be my champion, and I'll make you stronger than a regular demigod." she said._

 _I just nodded and gave her an approving look. Mania's smile got really big and she began to hop around like a cheerleader with too much caffeine in her system._

 _"Okay then, I, Mania, Goddess of Insanity and Madness, hereby declare Perseus Jackson, my champion!"_

 _I was glowing a little shade of red and black, and the next thing I knew, I felt so strong I could go toe-to-toe with an army of monsters and emerge unscathed._

 _"Now, Percy." Mania started. "Your whole physical condition has been improved: strength, speed, agility, endurance, reaction time, etc. I also gave you an accelerated healing factor, because why not? I even gave you knowledge on parkour and advanced fighting skills that can make Ares an untrained thug by comparison."_

 _"Thanks but, can you drop me off at my Uncle Jack's house?" I asked._

 _She didn't even reply. She just flashed us off to his house, where he was sleeping on the dinner table. He looked at Mania then screamed._

 _"Percy, who's this woman?!" he squeaked like a little girl._

 _"Calm down, Uncle Jack. This is my new patron, Mania, goddess of insanity and madness." I explained._

 _"Oh. Hi there. What took you so long?"_

 _Mania and I sat around the table._

 _A few minutes later..._

 _"You want to hunt down and kill whoever killed Sally?" he asked._

 _I just nodded. Mania looked at me with approval._

 _"First of all, you're only twenty. And if I were you, I'd think of a nickname first."_

 _"Like what?"_

 _"How about 'The Vindicator'?" Mania suggested._

 _"Something that means I, to an extent, hate the sea."_

 _"Anti-Ocean?" Uncle Jack suggested._

 _"Dead-River?" Mania piped up._

 _"That sounds stupid, Lady Mania."_

 _"Shut up, forge boy! I should make you bathe in a pool of your own blood, literally!"_

 _That's when it hit me. Mania and Uncle Jack saw this and they knew._

 _We all screamed at the same time:_

 _"DEADPOOL!"_

 _Well, except for Uncle Jack. His suggestion was "Mr. Deadpool.". We looked at him weirdly._

 _"What?" he asked us._

 _"No, just Deadpool." Mania casually said._

 _"Okay then." I declared. "I will take to the streets as Deadpool! I don't have any other weapons, though."_

 _"You know what." Uncle Jack said. "I have the perfect things for you."_

 _Mania and I watched him stand up and go to an oven. He flipped its dial open, revealing a keypad. To my confusion, all he did was type "0690" on the keypad, and the wall opened up._

 _Inside was a pair of katanas, dual pistols, and a strange suit._

 _The mask was white with a black spot around each eye. The rest of the suit was the same: white and black with some armor. The belt was brown with a bunch of satchels, there were holsters on the suit's thighs, and knives on the boots._

 _"The katanas are made of Adamantine." he explained._

 _"Adamantine? Like the same material the original Perseus's sword was made of when he killed Medusa?" Mania confirmed._

 _"That's right, Lady Mania. They're ridiculously strong, yet ridiculously light. Next, the satchels can give you ammo and explosives, and they'll never run out." Uncle Jack said again._

 _"Cool." I spoke._

 _"And your bullets are a mix of regular lead and Celestial Bronze, so if you ever encounter a monster in your crusade, you don't have to switch to your swords straight away."_

 _I grinned. This marked the disappearance of Perseus Jackson, and the entrance of Deadpool!_

 _"Thanks! But, can I switch up one thing about the suit?" I asked._

 _"Sure. What would that be?" Uncle Jack asked._

 _"I'd recolor the white, except the eyes, to red. I don't want to see my blood when I bleed, and I'll joke about it."_

* * *

Okay, you get the point, right? After many raids on criminal strongholds and hunts for crappy pants assholes, I found the right hand man of the guy who killed Mom and Paul. He is so dead.

"Ready to play a game of 'count the bodies'?!" I shouted at them.

They just fired their guns. Bullets flew and hit places that weren't even close to me.

"I'll be the one to count then!" I shouted again as I moved away from cover, and shot them in their pretty little heads, blood and screams galore!

"BANG! BANG! BANG!" I screamed and laughed.

"You're dead, freak!" my latest target yelled as he charged at me, fists raised.

I could shoot him in the face, but where's the fun in that? I put away my guns and stabbed him in the gut with my Adamantine katanas kebab style as I lifted him up.

"Happy Christmas, asshole. Now, your cliche bad guy acts left a little girl the burden of not having parents!"

"How did you know? Who are you?" he squeaked, coughing blood on my swords.

"I'm Deadpool, douche-picable douche pickle."

I dropped him on the floor as the life left his eyes.

"Alrighty then. Let's go." I spoke to myself.

My phone rang. Mania was calling, so I answered.

"Lady Mania, what's up?" I asked.

"Is it done? Are your parents finally avenged?"

"Aye. The deed is done. What's in the kitchen?"

"Big Belly Burger meals."

"Alright!"

* * *

Third Person POV, Avengers Tower...

"Guys, we have a problem." Steve told the rest of the Avengers, now including Winter Soldier, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Falcon, War Machine, and Ant-Man, who were like an extra team.

"What's wrong, Steve?" Bucky asked his best friend.

"There's been another Deadpool massacre."

"Not this again." Tony groaned. "This...mercenary assassin has been killing criminals in the craziest ways possible. One of those ways was with a Zamboni."

"Cap, how did you know that this was done by him?" Scott asked.

"He signed his name on the wall with a red marker. Anyway, Agent Hill told me that Fury wants us to deal with him. Who wants first try?" Captain America asked again.

"B-Team and I will go." the Winter Soldier said, raising his robot hand up. "Let's roll out."


	2. The Mask of Insanity is Lifted Too Early

**Chapter 2: The Mask of Insanity is Lifted Too Early**

 **Okay, should I clarify again? Percy's not really insane, but being the champion of Mania made it so convincing.**

 **And to all Vision fans, sorry, but he won't be in this fic. I might make more cameos for Deadpool characters.**

* * *

Somewhere off the coast of California...

"Shoop, shoop shoop..." Deadpool sang one of his favorite songs, which was being played by his phone. He was on a cargo freighter, which, according to Mania and Weasel, was being used to smuggle drugs out of U.S. and towards Alaska. It seemed pretty obvious because he found cocaine, meth, and some ridiculous drug called Why-Phy **(22 Jump Street, anyone?)**.

He just cleared the deck after a few rounds of trigger-happy bullet time.

"Come out and show yourselves, or you're all gonna die! In five minutes!" the mercenary bellowed.

Deadpool threw all the care he had off the boat, ran to the door, and kicked it down. A nearby henchman just looked at him and gave off a girly scream

-for one second, before Deadpool shot his throat.

"IT'S PARTY TIME!" he screamed, guns blazing the moment he turned from a corner.

* * *

Quinjet...

"Fury, are you sure about Deadpool's current location?" Bucky Barnes a.k.a. Winter Soldier asked, still on the pilot seat of the jet, with War Machine following.

"Affirmative, Barnes. Just capture him, and let me take care of the rest."

"Roger that. Barnes out."

And with that, the Winter Soldier turned off the communicator.

* * *

Back to the freighter...

It was when Deadpool got out of the cabin and to the docks that things went pretty south for him.

A sudden blast knocked him to his left. Mid-air, Deadpool grabbed onto the ground and landed on his feet in time to see who shot: Colonel James Rhodes a.k.a. War Machine, but he is so oblivious to the guy's identity that his smart-ass answer was:

"Is that you, Iron Man?"

"Nope. I'm War Machine."

The Quinjet arrived with Sam Wilson a.k.a. the Falcon right beside it. Both had guns aimed at Deadpool. The last three jumped out of the jet and onto one of the shipping containers.

Pietro Maximoff a.k.a. Quicksilver sported a silver and black armor with two lightning bolts on the side. He had silver goggles on as well.

Wanda Maximoff a.k.a. Scarlet Witch wore a full set of red leather clothing, a much darker red coat, and a short red cape and hood. A shrunk Scott Lang a.k.a. Ant Man was on her shoulders.

The mercenary just looked at them, confused.

"And here I am hoping I'll get challenged by the Avengers." he said.

"We are Avengers." Quicksilver spoke.

"Now, stand down or things will get ugly." Bucky announced with the Quinjet's external speaker.

"Oh...okay. BUT YOU GOTTA CATCH ME LIKE THE COLD!"

"Okay, that didn't make any sense." Scott remarked.

"IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE!"

Deadpool ran left to a shipping container, jumped, and did a handspring that landed him on the top of the container. Pietro dashed at him and punched him in the face. Despite being stopped in his tracks, the mercenary didn't even budge from his spot. The speedster continued to punch him, but Deadpool knocks him off with a one inch punch (followed by a vaguely racist kung fu noise).

Sam went after him next and so did Rhodey, who attacked with a repulsor blast from behind while the other flew up. Deadpool quickly turned, drew a katana, and reflected it to another shipping container, much to the Avengers' shock.

"Did you guys see that?" War Machine asked.

"His katana is like Cap's shield!" Falcon answered, who swooped in.

The mercenary backflipped when he was close enough, stomped on Falcon's back, and flipped back to the floor. He sensed something from his left and slashed a barrel that was hurtling towards him in half. It was Scarlet Witch.

"Hey, girl!" Deadpool flirted as he ran towards her after sheathing his katana.

"Get away!" Wanda screeched back.

He didn't stop, prompting her to get into his head by grabbing it.

Flashes of faces Deadpool didn't want to see at all were firing wildly into their brains, causing both to scream in mental pain.

"Wanda!" the other Avengers screamed in horror.

The mental images stopped hitting them when a normal sized Ant-Man separated them.

"Are you okay?" Quicksilver asked his sister as they let her up.

Meanwhile, Deadpool didn't feel okay at all. He clutched his head with both hands, and looked at Scarlet Witch.

"What did you do?" he hissed.

"What?" she asked, completely oblivious.

"I SAW THE FACES I NEVER WANTED TO SEE EVER AGAIN, RED WOMAN!"

The mercenary had lost it already, and drew his two katanas. The seas began to churn heavily, and it looked like a storm was beginning to form, and the freighter was in the middle of its eye. Deadpool looked ready to pounce on the Avengers

-until Bucky gave him a bionic arm to the face, and sent him right into a shipping container. The rough waters and storm stopped.

"Weren't you supposed to pilot the jet?" Ant Man asked.

"It has auto pilot, remember?"

"I'll go to the pilot seat." Sam volunteered as he flew to the Quinjet's controls.

"Right. Let's get Deadpool to Fury." Rhodey said as the other Avengers walked to the unconscious mercenary. Suddenly, the seas churned again, and a waterspout formed nearby.

"Uh oh." Scott gulped.

A massive being made of water formed from the waterspout. Its mere presence was enough to tilt the freighter.

"GIVE ME PERSEUS JACKSON!" it roared before it dissipated and someone emerged from it and onto the freighter.

It was a tall man with long black hair, beard, and mustauche. He was holding a trident in his hand and wore cracked Greek armor.

"Who are you?!" Bucky demanded, pulling out his custom assault rifle.

"I AM OCEANUS, FILTHY MORTAL!" he roared back as he slammed his trident on the deck floor, causing a shockwave that sent the Avengers flying. Sam unleashed the Quinjet's chaingun, but the Titan blasted it with a high speed stream of water, causing him to shake uncontrollably before managing to regain control.

"Falcon, get the others!" War Machine ordered as he stood up and was prepared to fire at Oceanus,

until Deadpool woke up and gave him a jump kick to the face. Falcon stopped the jet just to look at the awoken mercenary.

"Let me take it from here, Terminator and co. You want me? Bring it on, Aquaman!" he taunted as he drew his handguns and fired at Oceanus, whose armor began to break at the sheer force of the bullets. Soon enough, he began to bleed ichor.

"Okay, am I seeing things right now? Or is he bleeding golden blood?" Pietro spoke, confused.

The bullet storm stopped as Deadpool walked over to Oceanus and pointed a pistol at his brain.

"Any last words?" he snarled.

"Catch the damsel."

And a sudden burst of energy from his trident nailed Wanda in the stomach and sent her flying into the water. Deadpool pulled the trigger and destroyed Oceanus before running to the rails of the freighter and throwing his phone at Scott, who caught it,

"You better not look at my texts or pictures or contacts!" he added before jumping into the water.

He swam with haste to save the drowning Avenger, until a voice he never wished to hear again spoke in his mind.

 _'You dare enter my domain, ex-son?!'_ Poseidon snarled in his mind.

'SHUT UP, BARNACLE BRAIN! SOMEONE IS DROWNING!' Deadpool thought back.

Even with all the rants in his mind, he didn't stop until he managed to grab Scarlet Witch's hand, hold her bridal style, and shoot out of the water in a miniature waterspout, much to the other Avengers' shock.

"Holy crap, you saved her!" Winter Soldier remarked as the mercenary laid her down on the floor.

Scarlet Witch didn't wake up at all, prompting Deadpool to do something he may or may not regret: he took off his mask, revealing his messy raven black hair, sea green eyes that used to sparkle, but now they emanate an aura of sadness and betrayal, then he gave CPR to the Avenger while the others couldn't help but watch. Quicksilver looked like he was ready to punch Deadpool.

A few seconds later, Scarlet Witch awoke, coughing and gasping for air. She did nothing but stare into her savior's eyes, only to find out that it was Deadpool, then she backed away a little.

"It's fine. Name's Perseus Jackson, as that bastard said." he greeted as he picked up his mask.

"Can you just tag along with us now?" Falcon asked from the Quinjet.

"Okay, fine. I'll tag along with you lot, and can I have my phone back?"

Scott threw Percy is phone back, and everyone boarded the Quinjet, except for War Machine, before taking off.

* * *

Avengers Tower...

The Quinjet and War Machine arrived in the tower, with Avengers B-Team and a still unmasked Deadpool in tow. Fury was the first to greet them, with Captain America and, for some reason, Hawkeye in between.

"Any problems you had?" Fury asked.

"Faced some guy named Oceanus, but Red and Black here destroyed him." War Machine explained.

That was when he and Barton began to ponder.

"Who's this Oceanus?" the Star Spangled Man asked.

"No idea, Steve, but he had this aura that reminded me of Thor." Winter Soldier replied.

"Enough talk. Deadpool, come with me, so we can have a chat." Fury ordered.

"Sure, why not?" Percy replied.

"I'll go too!" Barton volunteered, much to the confusion of the others.

And with that, the three men left.

* * *

Interrogation Room...

Percy was handcuffed and disarmed, sitting in front of a plain brown table, Nick Fury, and Hawkeye. He had a blank expression on his face.

"So, Mr. Jackson, this room is secure so us three can speak in private." the former said.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because we're just like you, Perseus: demigods."

He seemed shocked at the revelation of the veteran and the Avenger, but it seemed obvious to him.

"Let me guess: son of Nemesis, and son of Apollo?" Percy asked.

"You guessed right, kid." Clint remarked.

"What do you want? How'd you know who I am?"

"My mother's friends with your patron." Fury replied. "Perseus, you may have noticed that the Avengers are clear-sighted mortals, right?"

"Well, except for Thor, but he's not here today." Clint added.

"Noticed. Why?"

"My mother tells me that your acts as Deadpool will most likely result in you being hunted down by the Olympians who turned their backs on you."

"I just...I just wanted to avenge my mother." he explained.

"In other words, the reason why I had them capture you is for your own protection and so that you can use your powers and skills for something greater than yourself."

Percy looked at him coldly.

"Mister Fury, with all due respect, as much as I would love to join the Avengers, enough people have become involved in my whole Deadpool stint, and besides, I'm more mercenary assassin than Avenger."

"Well, I say we get whoever helped you become Deadpool." Clint said before turning to Fury. "By the way, Fury, what if the others are listening right now?"

"We'll just have to be honest with them."

"I don't think they'll be okay with us keeping secrets from them."

"Doesn't matter, Agent Barton. Anyway, I suppose we'll have to explain everything to the team."

* * *

Main lounge...

After hours of explanations about Greeks, the other Avengers looked at Fury, Clint, and Percy weirdly. Thor just arrived and he looked at Percy like he was an Asgardian celebrity.

"Wait, Greek gods exist?" Natasha questioned.

"Yep, and the three of us are demigods." Clint pointed out. "I'm a son of Apollo, Director Fury is a son of Nemesis, and our new friend, Mr. Perseus Jackson, over here is a...former son of Poseidon, and the first champion of Mania, goddess of insanity and madness."

"Former? That is outrageous!" Thor exclaimed.

"Yes, Thor. His foolish father disowned him in favor of an idiot." Fury explained. "His mortal family, except for his baby sister are killed, so he went after the killer."

"Okay, what the hell is happening to our world right now?" Tony asked.

"I'd say it just got a lot weirder." Bruce answered.

"Now, the reason why I ordered him to be captured is for his own protection."

"Why?" Bucky asked.

"Perseus...has been through many things, and for some reason, he has a half-brother who's...just the worst. He turned many of the people he's called friends against him."

"He challenged me to a duel," Percy began to speak. "-I beat him, and the next thing I knew, banished and disowned for hurting him, also accused of insanity and jealousy. Biased assholes."

"Totally agree with you there." Clint agreed. "Because of his heritage, Percy's fatal flaw is loyalty. He'd die for them, no matter what, until this happened. He would never become so jealous."

Thor nodded in agreement.

"Alright," Fury started. "-I will be making him an Avenger, no questions asked, and aside from Agent Barton, which one of you can be his...main handler?"

He scanned the Avengers, until his eye fell onto Scarlet Witch.

"Miss Maximoff!" Fury announced.

"What? Me? Keep an eye on him?" she asked incredulously.

"I don't know, but weren't you the reason why he took off his mask of insanity? And, he did save you from drowning, right?"

She blushed with embarrassment.

"Okay, fine."

"Meeting dismissed."

* * *

During the next few days, the Avengers found themselves pretty uncomfortable. Percy was always thinking about things, sitting on the sofa, and eating and drinking in silence. Only Clint and Thor have gotten into decent conversations with him, and they were always about his early years. Despite being a "handler" alongside Hawkeye, Wanda kept her distance from Percy, though she would often stare at him for a while, once was during a game of chess with Tony. The billionaire gave her a look before continuing the game.

One day, Scarlet Witch decided to start a conversation with him, so she sat in front of him with "A Song of Ice and Fire" in her hands.

"Thank...Thank you, for saving me that day." she said.

"You're welcome, Wanda." he said, still looking at his half-full cup of coffee.

"Is something wrong?"

"I told Fury that I didn't want to drag anyone else into my personal problems, but now, here I am."

"But, why did you hide your true self by acting like a lunatic?"

The champion of Mania looked at Wanda with his cold eyes, giving her the shivers. He spoke right after drinking some coffee.

"If only you listened to my conversations with Clint, or Thor, or Director Fury."

"Sorry, especially for that time on the ship."

"It's fine, but to see those faces again, it felt like the whole charade as Deadpool was up. Fury wanted me to use my powers for good, but how can that be possible if others don't see it that way?"

The Scarlet Witch leaned forward as her face went a little closer to Percy's, making them both go red.

"We've got you. Don't worry about it."

"I see you two are interacting well." Clint sniggered before joining in on the conversation while the others were elsewhere. He sat on a nearby couch and placed his glass of wine on the coffee table.

"Percy, I know you're just acting like you're insane, and being the champion of Mania made it more convincing, but you can turn your probably-still-insane mouth into a weapon."

"Really? How?" he asked.

"Just annoy the living crap out of your enemies. They might lose their focus."

Both looked at him weirdly, then Percy just drank more coffee and Wanda started reading the book she was holding.

"Speaking of which, Birdie, how come no one in Camp Half Blood's ever heard of you?" he asked.

"I...uh...got kicked out...when I was sixteen?"

"And why, may I ask?"

"I...may or may not have...made an offensive comment about...Lady Artemis."

And that was when Percy spat out the coffee he was drinking onto the table, much to Wanda's disgust.

"What the hell, dude?!" he questioned.

"Hey, we're already on good terms, but working at SHIELD and becoming an Avenger seemed like a much better life." Hawkeye defended himself.

"Okay, but WHY LADY ARTEMIS OUT OF ALL THINGS?! If it was Zeus you insulted, I'll give you a high five."

"He would've killed me if I did that."

Sighing, Percy just looked at the view from his seat.

"We're all in danger here in New York." he said.

"Come on, Percy. What could go wro-"

Sounds of a tripped alarm blared throughout the tower.

"Intruder alert, Mr. Stark." JARVIS said.

"Description, JARVIS?" Tony asked as he laid down his shot glass.

"People in their late teens, all holding swords, spears, or bows. Also, they're wearing armor."

"Oh crap." Percy muttered.


	3. WOW HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN?

**BECAUSE THIS STORY WENT ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE...**

 **I'm gonna rewrite it...**

 **Until then, read my more obscure PJO crossovers**


End file.
